Garages from Hell

I just want a wheel bearing replaced. This should be simple but it’s turned out to be a nightmare, more like a round-up of the decades’s best clips from Garages from Hell. If, and it seems unlikely, such a TV programme doesn’t exist, I’ve got enough material for the first few episodes already.

Here’s what we have for episode one:

Kwik-Fit, Harrogate

Summary: Don’t bother

Booked in several days in advance for wheel bearing replacement, to be done in the morning and picked up just after lunch. I dropped the car off at opening time, 8:30am, and having heard nothing at all by nearly lunchtime, phoned to find they hadn’t even ordered the part yet. They called back shortly afterwards to say they’d now ordered it, but needed to keep the car until five o’clock. This was highly inconvenient, but I agreed. They also said it needed a tyre – news to me, but I said replace that while you’re at it then.

At 5:15, after a walk across Harrogate from the point where I managed to get a lift to, I was just about to arrive at Kwik-fit when I got a phone call from them. The wheel bearing “just didn’t turn up, do I want my car back tonight?” I said that I did, and continued to Kwik Fit where I waited half an hour for them to put a wheel back on. I then paid for the tyre, and the car was brought off the ramp still sporting the same 4 tyres it went in with. “Bloody hell, I told him to put the tyre on before he went home.” It was suggested that I “come back another day” to get the tyre that I’d paid for fitted, but of course I declined and got my money refunded.

In the meantime, I can’t figure out which of the four good tyres they failed to rip me off for.

Nationwide Autocentres, Ardwick, Manchester

Summary: Avoid like the plague

Following the previous day’s fiasco, I wasn’t taking any chances. I phoned ahead and explained that I needed this doing today and had to drive back to Yorkshire that evening, so if they didn’t have the time or couldn’t get the part, could they please say so straight away so I would have the opportunity to take it somewhere else. No problem, said the manager. This conversation was then repeated in person when I dropped the car off.

Several hours later, having heard nothing, I thought I’d pop round and see what was going on. The car hadn’t moved from where I’d parked it, so I asked the manager what was happening. He said he’d “get one of the lads to look at it when they’d finished what they were doing”. I asked if he’d ordered the part yet, expressing the same concerns as earlier. “No, but the part won’t be a problem” he said. I wasn’t convinced, and he said “Ok, I’ll ring them now”.

A couple of hours later, I had a quick sneaky look which confirmed what I now suspected – the car still hadn’t moved.

Finally, at nearly 4pm, they phoned me to tell me that they had a part but it might not be the right one, so if they were to try and fit it and it was wrong, they would have to keep the car overnight, something they already knew was impossible. The manager claimed there were two possible parts, and he only had one, the other being out of stock, although this story changed several times as he continued to contradict himself and blatantly lie. He couldn’t adequately explain why he didn’t attempt source the part 7 hours earlier, nor why he didn’t even know what part he needed. I put a stop to the conversation when he eventually pointed out to me that “I had nothing to complain about”.

Motosave, Regent Street, Leeds

Summary: What’s the point?

Following the previous days’ fiascos, I wasn’t taking any chances. I phoned ahead and explained exactly what part was needed, and that I wanted to be sure they had it. “No problem at all”, they said.

I arrived at the agreed time, and not to long after, they got me to pull the car up on to the ramps, and the mechanic agreed, “yes, you need a wheel bearing there.” He proceeded to explain that it would be impossible to do it this afternoon though, because he wouldn’t be able to get the part as all their suppliers were closed for the afternoon due to the impending Easter break. The mind boggles as to why this wasn’t mentioned on the phone, instead of “No problem at all” which means something entirely different to me. Anyway, another complete waste of time.

Nationwide Autocentres, Leeds

Summary: Thanks but no thanks

Not that I intended taking the car here (see above), but I was passing so I thought I’d call in just for my own amusement. £161 was quoted, no mention of confusion about two different parts, needless to say, because there aren’t two, and they did score some points for saying they couldn’t get the part that day. The amusingness of that price though, will only become clear in episode two, so tune in next time for more gripping drama.