Energy powder?

Hmm, I’d never heard of Dr Gillian McKeith before Sunday, when I for some strange reason picked up one of her “Energy Bars” in Morrisons. I figured any food with Dr Anybody on it had to be good for a laugh.

It looked like compressed dust and tasted of cardboard (or was it the other way round, I can’t remember), but it can’t have been that bad because I’d wolfed it down before I got out of the car park. It contained 5000mg (sounds very scientific and medicinal when you use inappropriate units doesn’t it) of her “Energy Powder”, so I expected at least some effect for my 189000 millipence.

Imagine my surprise when driving back up the hill out of town I lost sight of the road and appeared to be driving through 3 inches of dry ice. This energy bar is good stuff after all, I thought, expecting to find Dave’s Mobile Disco set up on the tarmac at any moment. Then I realised that despite the brilliant sunshine the heavens had emptied themselves while I was pounding the aisles and it was just steam rising off the road. Not energy powder induced then, but quite a spectacular sight nonetheless.

I must admit I felt rather odd when I got home, but I think it was more to do with the heat, humidity and lugging half a tonne (sorry, half a billion milligrams) of shopping in from the car single handed than any magical properties of the powder.

Anyway, it seems this doctor of energy bars is quite well known, no doubt from that idiot’s lantern I try to avoid. I realised with horror that I’d inadvertantly got sucked into some kind of TV spin-off merchandising hell, rather than the good old-fashioned quackery I’d expected. She’s the presenter of something called You Are What You Eat apparently. That makes me an overpriced lump of compressed dust. Oh well.

Well done for reading this far – it’s a more pointless topic than ever, so much so I’d completely forgotten about it myself. Thanks to Alastair for reminding me.

I’ll leave you with this quote I’ve just found at the online dust shop, it cracked me up – “Dr Gillian’s own bars are the only bars that she recommends and endorses.”