Introducing Baby 3.0. He’s called Tom. I’m still not getting involved in the very strange but apparently compulsory “how much did he weigh?” thing. I was going to mockingly suggest that our lovable NHS bureaucrats would have already ticked a little “overweight, prone to diabetes, and will probably die of a heart attack next week” box on their clipboard. No mocking is necessary though, because I put his details into their stupid calculator thing and sure enough, he is off the end of the scale, and “obese”. They are telling me he is at risk of cancer, and needs to eat less burgers and chips, and get more exercise. I guess we need to hope he drastically loses some weight by the time he’s four weeks old, but in my experience these babies just keep on getting bigger.