It’s no secret that I like to get simultaneously annoyed and amused by the ridiculous instructions and warnings that suddenly seem to be necessary on the packaging of even the most innocuous of products. It’s a hobby I normally try to keep to myself, except when things are getting particularly out of hand. But not today.
Exhibit A – it’s the packaging for a pair of scissors, or rather a pair of pairs. I have no idea when scissors started coming in packs of two. I suspect the factory misunderstood the order – number of items per packet: pair.
The warning not to cut up raw meat and vegetables with the same pair caught my attention. Who needs a warning like that? Maybe the kind of person that prepares up their meat and veg with scissors. Maybe this is just part of the War On Knives, which I understand are due to be phased out except for licensed professional chefs. All amateur food preparation will soon be done with scissors, and later (when scissors are also banned) with wooden spoons.
Somewhat horrifying is the complete lack of warning not to run with scissors, but I don’t doubt this will be added to the next batch.
My favourite bit though is the instructions on how to open the packet – yes, even that is apparently too complicated and dangerous for the average ‘consumer’ these days. So how do you get your scissors out of the packet? With scissors, of course.
P.S. As the photo reveals, I stabbed the packaging with a knife instead. It would have been easier with scissors (if they weren’t inside the packet) but nowhere near as satisfying.