A plague of vermin

We must have done something bad because someone or something has decided to unleash a plague of vermin on our garden.

Firstly, the garden is infested with rats, living under the garage and sheds by day and brazenly strolling around at night. They’re so cocky I came face to face with one last night, close enough and for long enough that I could see that it appeared to have had half its face ripped off. On further inspection though, it was not bloody but smeared in the fallen plums it was casually dining on. Unfortunately, just as I was about to stamp on it, it sensed the change of mood and hurried off. I’m quite fond of rats really and if it wasn’t for the vast range of diseases they threaten to inflict on our determinedly barefoot toddler, they could stay. Instead, I’ve made a pact with Yoda (pictured right) whereby a dead rat is exchanged for a pouch of Whiskas and she seems to have got the hang of the arrangement already.

A more immediate threat comes from the fox that’s been spotted twice this week circling our orchard. I rather like foxes (there’s a pattern emerging here) but those chickens and turkeys are destined for my stomach, and any possibility of a four-legged attempt to intercept them needs nipping in the bud. We’ve had a successful visit from Mr Fox before and it’s a very unpleasant experience. The birds are on an early bedtime regime until further notice, and better still the farmer’s son is on the prowl with his shotgun. Hopefully the fox will take the hint and stay in the woods where it belongs.

I’ll spare you the tedious details regarding the moles, flies and wasps, but at least the last two won’t be around much longer. To cap it all off, letting the turkeys out this morning I had to dodge sideways to avoid one that was coming straight at me, and in doing so blundered straight into the path of another which hit me very hard on the side of the head. On the plus side, the force of the blow indicates that they’re growing as intended, and apparently they’ll be too big to fly soon anyway.